(Photo courtesy of my beautiful friend and yoga colleague, Noelle Farmer)
It’s Samskara Saturday and we have arrived at anahata, the heart. I have been awake since 5:40 am for a 10:30 am start time playing over scenarios for upholding and uplifting that will best radiate the ferocity of connecting and belonging so integral to this session. Around 7:00 am I arrive at the starting line of an idea that I hope will work, sear the intention into the heart, inspire expansion.
At 8:00 am I surrender and shower.
I am reminded of so many times I have been here before, poised on the edge of control and trust, not knowing, wanting to believe in uncertainty, but over-thinking and trying not to listen to the chatter in my head. I have a tendency to lean into self-diminishment when I feel under pressure. I decide to eat last night’s leftovers as breakfast instead.
Life is never as austere as I imagine it. I am beginning, thank God, to take myself less seriously.
The truth is, I know what I am doing. And these whiffs of inspiration that arrive with the sunrise are gifts from the universe that lighten my journey and enhance my offerings to others. I’m grateful for them, as I am for the light, within and without, my beautiful students, so eager to experience, so willing to go there, bravely inclining toward a truth and a connection they have yet to know.
It’s 1:00 pm, I’m putting the crystallized ginger back into the plastic bag, reflecting, wondering, inviting nuance where none is necessary. Who knew partner yoga with instructed assists, modified with a chair, as needed, could be such a compelling invitation to a sweet experience of the energy of the heart. We are all whole-heartedly broken open.
I swallow the large chunk of ginger I have let swirl in my mouth, noting its sugariness, delighting instinctively in a gentle connection to all that I am within. Renee, my partner in crime puts her arm around me. We exhale together….