I’ve said no a lot lately. No to dating guys I didn’t feel like going out with, no to classes I didn’t have time to teach, no to foods I didn’t feel like eating, no more to toxic people, no, just no, absolutely not, no. And as you can see, I’ve been fairly emphatic about it. Sure, there’s that flutter in the top of my breastbone every single time I do it; kind of like the downward swoop of a roller coaster, if I rode them. Mostly, there’s just peace, and space and a deep sense of connection to the authentic vulnerable, venerable me that I denied for a really long time.
It’s becoming a habit, a self-care practice that I incorporate into my daily life that feels a lot like the freedom that I have stitched onto the wide-open cracks of my sometimes achy heart. No has power behind it; it means no to shame and regret and guilt and for me even bitterness, resentment and overindulgent obligation. No is my True Self expressing itself in the moment whole-heartedly open to whatever manifests in its wake.
No can also mean Yes. Yes to unconditional love and sharing and partnership and peace. Yes to growth and progress and energetic expansion. Yes to the previously unfathomable dream, to the second or third cookie, to my body’s desire for a nap. No makes room for the lusciously lithe and deeply seductive yes of my imagination. The place where my passions and my dharma and my essential nature converge so powerfully that I believe there is no idea too impossible to realize no happiness too great to be unfurled, no true love that cannot be expressed.
Deep gratitude to No. May it forever be a part of the limitless, joyful, peaceful and free to be me, me….