purple lotus flower

The Big Bowl closed early today because of Palm Sunday and I was really pissed. I love to eat Shrimp Panang Curry on Sunday night, and having my regular end of the weekend  ritual interrupted sent me into the kind of petulant tizzy that certainly flies in the face of gratitude. Face to face with my own hypocrisy, I regret to say that I did not amend quickly. It took me about an hour to right my ship, order a different $50.00 take-out, graciously guested by Bevie, and begin to be equally humbled and horrified by my own ridiculousness.

 I thought I started these gratitude posts 80 days ago because I felt that in my daily life I was not grateful enough. And like the lotus flower at the top of the post, my growth is essentially derived out of the muddy, murky, messy water in which I place myself. This afternoon, the mud was especially deep and I went there, mostly because I think I felt like it, or because sometimes that’s what I do, or maybe even, because I want what I want when I want it.

As I drove by Lake Minnetonka, a mere block from my house, on the way to pick up Indian, the water winked at me. It’s shiny surface rippled out and I saw the sky reflected back in what seemed like a million different moments opening up to a truth I had somehow ignored. I started these blog posts because I was grateful, and I am grateful and I wanted to partner with others to share in their gratitude as well. And I’m doing it, not perfectly, not filled up with my favorite Sunday night Thai, not even, surprise, surprise, to my own satisfaction, always. But I’m doing it.

And for that, I’m damn grateful!


About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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  1. Linda R Neff says:

    Your honesty is powerful – thank you Susan. xoxo


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