The Big Bowl closed early today because of Palm Sunday and I was really pissed. I love to eat Shrimp Panang Curry on Sunday night, and having my regular end of the weekend ritual interrupted sent me into the kind of petulant tizzy that certainly flies in the face of gratitude. Face to face with my own hypocrisy, I regret to say that I did not amend quickly. It took me about an hour to right my ship, order a different $50.00 take-out, graciously guested by Bevie, and begin to be equally humbled and horrified by my own ridiculousness.
I thought I started these gratitude posts 80 days ago because I felt that in my daily life I was not grateful enough. And like the lotus flower at the top of the post, my growth is essentially derived out of the muddy, murky, messy water in which I place myself. This afternoon, the mud was especially deep and I went there, mostly because I think I felt like it, or because sometimes that’s what I do, or maybe even, because I want what I want when I want it.
As I drove by Lake Minnetonka, a mere block from my house, on the way to pick up Indian, the water winked at me. It’s shiny surface rippled out and I saw the sky reflected back in what seemed like a million different moments opening up to a truth I had somehow ignored. I started these blog posts because I was grateful, and I am grateful and I wanted to partner with others to share in their gratitude as well. And I’m doing it, not perfectly, not filled up with my favorite Sunday night Thai, not even, surprise, surprise, to my own satisfaction, always. But I’m doing it.
And for that, I’m damn grateful!