gratitude 1.29:12

So I’m dating, sort of. Although, I’m home on a Friday night, underneath my sheepskin, reveling in my extroverted introversion. In spite, I feel like somebody is on the imminent horizon and no second glass of Chardonnay is going to quell my queasiness. In spite of myself, I’ve just got to soften into it. The best description is hard work manifesting. I am a tenacious lotus flower blooming through mud and mess, semi-open, fragile, hopelessly inverted.

Oftentimes at the end of a yoga practice on the mat I teach a posture called Viparita Karani, loosely translated as legs up the wall; gently upside down, heart kind of below head, life can unscramble.  The general theory is an energy reversal, a calming of the limbic system, combined with deep diaphragmatic breathing, throw in your favorite calming music for good measure, maybe an easy transformation. I’ve spent a lot of time on my back in this posture, begging the powers that be to show me the way.

Everything is different, discombobulated, upside down now that I’m dating, and I don’t get it. But I breathe and build the posture any way; doing what I know how to do, evoking promises long dormant in my soul. On my back, in the moment,  I’m suddenly reminded of my 66 year old customer Mary Jane and her 93 year old mother who fought viciously on a Mother’s Day not so long ago. “I went home and did legs up the wall, Susan,” Mary Jane informed me. “And then I went back and apologized to my mother.”

I breathe and remember and send out love to myself. Mary Jane and her mother as well.

Maybe there is hope.

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Linda R Neff says:

    Sending love to you my friend. xoxo


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s