So I’ve started dating and I’m shocked by my own age. It seems impossible to me that the men that I meet, all lovely in their own way, by the way, are older than I imagined I would ever be. Where’s our future, I think to myself as I eat bar food with yet another sweet guy who is approaching an age I only ever associated with my grandfather’s. I excuse myself to the Ladies Room, sit down in a stall, rub my face in my hands, gaze at my reflection in the mirror, pray for a grip. Obviously, I’m much more wigged out than I thought I would be.

Because this time the invitation is not about creating a life with someone but about being in life, in the moment; encountering someone just as I am, and more uncomfortably just as he is. And I don’t know how to do it. I can be myself in all of the areas of my life that I have some practice; work, friends, family, any combination of the aforementioned Trinity is sanctified, sacred, unwaveringly smooth. But this new thing is about something stunningly re-orienting, lacking in any preconceived notions, completely and shatteringly different. And I’m not sure I like it.

Tough Shit, I think to myself. I’ll have no fear. And do it anyway.

Stay tuned…..


About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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  1. Linda R Neff says:

    This part is huge: “But this new thing is about something stunningly path re-orienting, lacking in any preconceived notions, completely and shatteringly different.”

    So excited to see what happens that is completely and shatteringly different for you with your beautiful heart and soul guiding you on this path of re-orientation.



  2. Good for you, honey. I am not there yet. Probably won’t be. lol Hope you have some fun-filled adventures!


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