“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
― Brené Brown
During this trek across the country, I have met and connected with so many people who are in transition; bravely embracing the invitation to live a life that is calling forth. My friend and fellow Woman on Fire Dyana Robenalt is one of those people. I asked her if she would write a post for the Live Big 365 blog and she graciously agreed. I’m so glad, this post is full of brave, brave writing and hits me straight in the heart.
Thank you Dyana for easing my journey with your words of gentle wisdom and inspiration.
Switching Hands ….How to Manage Life in Transition
By Dyana Robenalt
When I was 13, my mother died and within days, I was plucked from her and my step-father’s loving home. This began a lifetime of planned and unplanned transitions. Resiliency became my invisible middle name. Being in a transition can feel scary. Imagine switching hands from your dominant side to your other one.
Being open to this adaptation is creating huge enlightenment for me. The picture in our heads of “how it’s supposed to “be” causes interference. My ex-husband and I used to periodically switch sides of the bed just to keep ourselves open to the concept of change.
Fear ruled many of my transitions and often took the form of crises. Witnessing 9/11 created a string of devastating transitions and luckily, many earth angels and soul guides helped me overcome serious pain.
I am currently in one of the most radical shifts in years. While I tried to plan it, there are still many unknown elements creating the mystique and excitement I crave after years of knowing that virtuous “rewards” often come at the end of seemingly difficult times. This one has BIG potential and I’m ready! Learning to trust the process and flow like the rising and falling of tides, no matter what, has taken years of practice. Letting go and letting God run the show is still challenging. I keep my favorite saying from Wayne Dyer handy to help with this:
Over time my thinking shifted from:
For the past ten years, I’ve focused on taking better responsibility for mistakes I made, adjusted the sails and redesigned my outlook. This translated to patience and understanding that I am always where I am supposed to be at the time – an ongoing reminder.
Humility has become the new badge of honor I seek, and living with a strong moral compass as my foundation has helped me navigate the most turbulent waters. We’re all connected and we never know the pain someone else is in or has endured. It makes sense to always be kind and realize that we’re all just trying to make it through the day. Last year, keeping a gratitude jar did wonders. The act of writing down one thing I was grateful for every day created a revolutionary shift in my positivity!
Some other practices I try to do daily for smooth transitions:
- Believe something great is about to happen
- Pick “winners”
- Be open yet expect nothing
- Seek higher guidance
- Always be the first to say hello
- Keep favorite books handy. Read new inspiring ones
- Listening more than talking (My hardest!)
- Catch and “Flick” negative thoughts away with your hand
- Be willing to try new things
- Keep 3-4 months of savings on hand!
- Do random acts of kindness, volunteer or help someone
- Meditate, be in nature, be still
- Do the WORK
Transitions allow me to reflect and plan how I will react differently next time. Every minute and every day provide opportunities to start over. Learning to “switch hands” in transitions no matter when they come or how long they last has given me more peace, freedom and happiness!