I’ve not felt the least bit weird yet, or entirely upside down, not even a hint of sadness. I’m not remotely freaked out that my host for the night just introduced himself shirtless as he entered his apartment. His name is Seth. He’s a Linguist, about the same age as my sons and he likes to line dance. He invited me to come along. He said something about up-shore and really cool and pop fusion. I nodded, much the same way I do with my kids when they utter their generation speak and I have no idea…..
When he asked me where I was from I said California, tripped right off my tongue as if I had been saying it for years. There might be some kind of street cred or coolness factor in California because Seth said, “Wow, great state!” I nodded again.
If you want my honest opinion, I think it’s really fabulous being in-between; kind of floating in this nether world where the only true anchor is my overloaded Mini Cooper Clubman, filled to the brim with yoga mats and blocks and balls. I’ve been untethered from a previous existence and I’m answering only to the compass within. Thus the steamy, diverse plethora of Chicago pictures. Upon arrival straight from Saginaw, I pretty much did whatever I felt like…..without remorse, regret or confusion; walking a hell of a lot, smelling the diverse neighborhoods, seeing the best of the indoor and outdoor sites, wading into the cold, clear waters of Lake Michigan, eating too much hot spicy Ethiopian food.
To be alone today, upheld by the force of my own unfurling, one day at a time, and to truly trust it, blossom forth with it, peaceful, joyful, happy and free is a gift that I will never forget. It underscores a new way of life that defies the poverty of my imagination. I feel as if I can do anything; define myself anew, dream the big dream, realize fully the strength and power of the unbelievable me…And just be: Be me, in the vastness of the universe , belonging and being, ever-swirling, swooshing serenely into the fabulous mystery, knowing that everything, absolutely everything, is just as it is meant to be.