I was described recently by a friend with the words in the title of the blog post. It kind of made me feel blushy to be honest and way too out of my element. What kind of 50 year old woman has the word akimbo attached to her own body parts?
It got me to thinking and exploring the idea of perception and freedom. I have always had a certain amount of strained acceptance towards my body; not really sure what I looked like, I always felt like I should be prettier than I appeared to be. I know, kind of wacky, but honestly, and I work with a lot of women, not as unusual as I first thought.
Why is it that this body that has given me so much still has the potential to engender such ambivalence? Why do I allow myself to disconnect from the vibrancy inside if the outside does not appear to be everything that it should be? Who’s judging?
There’s a whole list of answers to those questions, and they range from the cultural to the psychological, and almost everything in between. Indeed, when I have asked these questions of some of my customers, the answers have been as varied as the bodies and minds they were addressed to. Indulging in a balanced response is nigh on impossible, but would be, for my former over-thinking self, a pefect ego trip that would circumvent the heart of the matter: It’s not really necessary for me to wallow around in my perception of my own prettiness or otherwise. Honest to God, and this is going to appear as a cop out, at the end of the day it all springs from the inside out anyway.
There does seem to be one common theme however, a statement of a desire for assuredness and affirmation amidst all of the swirliness. And here it is: I’m stepping out of the prison of my own self-perception and my need for the answers and embracing everything that I have and that I am. That, in my opinion is where the akimbo comment sprang, from deep within me, my own beautiful light is beginning to shine forth. unrestrained, giddy even and so so delightfully fresh.
I think this attitude is good news for me and one that I am beginning to speak out loud to customers and friends of all ages in all kinds of venues because, quite honestly, I don’t really want to be here in my freedom alone. There is, quite obviously, explicit service to me in that statement but also an answer to a call to serve others. I love and lean into connection and belonging. And I know I’m not the only one….
Who knows where we might end up together? But we will be free; hair and boobs, insert your own body parts if you like, akimbo and, more importantly, sharing the experience together
Please join me. I honestly believe it’s more fun in groups. I’m thinking of designing a T-shirt.
Big Loving Namaste!