AAH the sweet relief of my gracious edgy lovely family emerging unscathed and dare I say slightly less jaded as a group of 6 from our holiday festivities today. So many potential trap doors replete with old behaviors and corresponding reactions. And yet the intent and the desire from the very beginning of the day was one of love, lightness and this strong desire to move forward in a way that directly reflected all that we wished to be to one another; everything that could be celebrated, that bore thanksgiving.

It’s weird to be divorced in this environment, as the word alone, and all the ensuing bullshit that emerges from the initial action, implies a violent and everlasting wrenching apart. And for a long time, I must confess, my mindset was definitely oriented in this direction. Yet what has begun to emerge. and I truly believe that it emanates out of the hearts of all six of us, is a gentle and precious coming together that is as integral to the Big living of our respective spirits as any freedom expressed in the living and loving apart.

I honestly don’t know how to make sense of it at all, other than to be grateful for it. Celebrating our family, such as it is, in the moment, seems to me to be a divine invitation to open myself up to a vulnerable complete love that is inspiring, tender and sweet. I was proud of us today and imminently filled up with a brightness and an assuredness that, within myself, I believed completely in who I was and how I intended to be, uninhibited, hopeful, enlivened and free.

I’ve posted often recently about being irrevocably, and I believe divinely, changed. And it is evident in so many small ways that manifest BIG. We sat today, after cooking together, all six of us, for almost eight hours straight, and ate at the old dining room table. We just wanted to be together this year and we were, without expectation, shimmering a tenuous yet fervent love.

I believe it always existed within all of us. And I also believe, divorce notwithstanding, that it is the love that defines us, tends to our sometimes broken hearts, and is the vibration we will return to over and over and over again as it guides us onward in this spiraly unfathomable beautiful journey of a life tenderly lived.

Love you Seb, Dyl, Sash, G, and Rupes……

Big Namaste!

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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