No matter how many times I try to shape it differently, if I’m honest, I have to confess that I spent an inordinate amount of time in my life swimming upstream, over-efforting, actually believing that I could will the outcomes of almost any situation that involved me. It was crazy and tiring and caused me to have a kind of worn and disheveled relationship to myself and others, at best.
The truth is I was scared, bone deep, into the very fiber of my being afraid that somehow, really for some unfathomable reason, I just wasn’t capable. Of what, I couldn’t really tell you as I was always so frantically trying to meet the next accomplishment, scale the upcoming wall, barrel through inflexible resistance…..live life to it’s absolute fu*king fullest. If it reads fun, on any level, I can assure you, in deep gratitude and awesome hindsight, it absolutely sucked.
Today, however, is different. I began to see that the effort of changing the life that existed around me might come to better use if I directed it toward changing the attitudes and ingrained belief patterns that kept me completely disconnected from my truest self. It took time and a lot of sweaty painful acceptance work, and yet what emerged was the bright light of my inner being.
Oftentimes with my customers, I use a phrase that perfectly encapsulates my fresh relationship to my most authentic self: Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch, Allow. “Be the seer”, my teacher Joseph Le Page would gently advise me during my month at Kripalu. “Let it happen.” Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch, Allow. (It bears repeating).
I am a loving witness to my own best life; perfect in its daily expression, offering daily gifts, transcendent lessons. I am afresh and awash in the gentle vibrational motion of the loving embrace of the Universe. There for me always, opening me up tenderly, manifesting love. I need only allow life’s gentle unwavering expansion; expressing me toward a grace and love so deep, unrelentingly honest, passionate and limitless that my life then becomes something akin to wondrous magic.