The world is crazily in love with you, wildly and innocently in love. Even now, thousands of secret helpers are conspiring to turn you into the beautiful curiosity you were born to be.
I’ve been really surprised recently as to how little I have felt that I need to express in my blog. It’s not that I’m not living big because, honestly, I really am joyfully and with a wholesomeness that I find sometimes overwhelming; it is more that I’m easing into a comfort and an acceptance with this new attitude and gentler way of living that has rendered me kind of mute in the head. It is almost as if I am learning for the first time how to express myself with consistency and vibrancy on a regular basis through the heart.
And I’m new at trusting this process as a starting point. The idea of releasing what Patanjali calls the “citta vritti”or mind chatter and resting easefully within the true essence of myself is a vibration that I am still wrapping myself around. Don’t get me wrong, I like it, but it is still relatively fresh within me as a way of behaving and it’s made me quieter, more still, peaceful, but still poised to flip back into my head should I ever need to….I’m learning how to trust it deeply…..
I’ve been very grateful to read and experience the posts of other blogger friends who are bravely forging forward with their honest explorations of themselves and their relationships to the world around them. This quiet time for me has allowed me the reflection to go within and contemplatively meditate on all that swirls around me on a daily basis and feel and live it as the true love that it is. I can’t quite believe that I have stumbled upon such a treasure chest of an answer; and even though I believe the key to that chest was in my possession for a long long time, it is only through all of the manifestations of love that have emanated around me this year that I have finally had the faith to insert the key and unlock the lock.
What emerges is of course love; love of a Power greater than myself, first and foremost, love of and for myself following gently behind and then quite naturally, an ability to, as my friend Jamie Eslinger would say, lovemore fearlessly ( and therefore by extension completely and unconditionally) others. It’s the whole package that matters so much to me and has caused me to rest over the last four weeks in complete stillness within my heart.
So what do I do now, I have asked myself over the last week or so as I continue to post pictures and pithy statements on my nightly blog. What do I do with this stillness, this peace this gentle unwavering connection to the universe that I can no longer rationalize or deny? Well, I am meditating within it, and offering up this stream of conciousness writing that comes straight from what my Yoga perspective would call the Vijnanamayakosha: The witness, the deep essence of who I am, beginning to roil and reverberate out of me, rolling forward, sometimes unbounded and unchecked. And in fearless love, I’m just going to go with it.