There was a time in my life, in fact as I’m in full confession mode, I believe it might be at least four decades, I would seek affirmation and validation solely through accomplishment and the attention of others. As a result of deciding to live this way, I was often miserable and exhausted and really had absolutely no frigging clue who I really was and what I wanted.
It took the explosive implosion of my life as I understood it for me to begin to address who I really was and what I really wanted, and most importantly, how I was going to live and be happy. Initially, I couldn’t do it and I succumbed to a really deep black hole filled with anger, bitterness and the kind of white hot hatred that I really believed would cause me to combust and dissolve into ashes. Sometimes, I even wished for it.
This is a happy story though, thank God, and I’m here to say today that with a lot of awesome support, almost 5 years later, I’ve not only emerged out of the hole a completely transformed woman, but also an awesomely and deeply grateful one. You see, what I learned while I was deep down inside of that hole was how to let go of a lot of painful core beliefs and fears I’d taken into my heart, and, most importantly, how to embrace the truly loving and strong woman that I am; valuing a longing to be the authentic me and express myself abundantly and courageously, each and every day, flush with a shimmeringly simple hope and an earnest desire to always be, easefully and meaningfully be.