DAY 253: MEETING MY OWN NEEDS…..

There was a time in my life, in fact as I’m in full confession mode, I believe it might be at least four decades, I would seek affirmation and validation solely through accomplishment and the attention of others. As a result of deciding to live this way,  I was often miserable and exhausted and really had absolutely no frigging clue who I really was and what I wanted.

It took the explosive implosion of my life as I understood it for me to begin to address who I really was and what I really wanted, and most importantly, how I was going to live and be happy. Initially, I couldn’t do it and I succumbed to a really deep black hole filled with anger, bitterness and the kind of white hot hatred that I really believed would cause me to combust and dissolve into ashes. Sometimes, I even wished for it.

This is a happy story though, thank God, and I’m here to say today that with a lot of awesome support, almost 5 years later, I’ve not only emerged out of the hole a completely transformed woman, but also an awesomely and deeply grateful one. You see, what I learned while I was deep down inside of that hole was how to let go of a lot of painful core beliefs and fears I’d taken into my heart, and, most importantly, how to embrace the truly loving and strong woman that I am; valuing a longing to be the authentic me and express myself abundantly and courageously, each and every day, flush with a shimmeringly simple hope and an earnest desire to always be, easefully and meaningfully be.

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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