DAY 218: TRYING TO CONTROL MYSELF!

So I’m in that place where I know, if my daughter Sasha were here with me, she would be saying something along the lines of, “Please Mom, just don’t do it in front of me, O.K?” It’s kind of like when I over-exuberantly hug my son Gareth in public and I know he doesn’t know how to react, but he hangs in there with me anyway.

I’m just spectacularly enthusiastic about being here at Kripalu. At the moment, I’m munching on steamed Kale in a fabulous Tahini sauce and putting Pumpkin seeds with Dulse on everything, like I do it all the time, which I don’t. It’s honestly just really really great to be here.

After all, this is where I kind of got real about the state of my marriage the first time I visited 5 years ago, only to return a year later and stay for a month. I consider Kripalu,  the birthing place of the still in formation, but much much more aware me. And because I love this place so much, and I am now able to recognize many of the intrinsic ways in which the wild ands wooly wonderfulness of it helped to instill a bright shiny kernel of value in me, I find my joy a little hard to control. I’ve said hello to everyone who passes by like I own the place, take sloppy videos of the yoga dance at 12, stop in to the Shadowbrook room to share war stories with the new Yoga Teacher Trainees. It’s really pretty embarassing on reflection. My kids, if they read this post, will recognize the signs.

I need to slow down and create a little balance. I am in a training program that will lead to my 500 hour Certification as a Yoga Teacher as well as a Certification as a Yoga Therapist. Really fantastic stuff; but the program is intense, 6am to 9pm, daily for 25 straight days, and I know that I must step back from the ledge of overly passionate devotion in order to be able to absorb the experience with the integrity and respect it deserves. And I will, tomorrow!

But for the rest of the day, and tonight, I’m going to high five strangers and talk a little more than I usually would, and share the joy and love of the place. Because, I’m feeling it, and it’s such a lovely inspiring energized way of being. I’m really grateful to be able to celebrate such a deep heart-felt connection with myself. In many ways, these big moments help to support the times in my life when everything just feels a little more challenging.

I’m off to get more steamed kale and then need to begin the evening program, and then home to bed. Stay tuned for pictures. It is really magical here in the Berkshires.

Thanks to every single one of you. Without your support, I would not be here, having such a wonderful time, tonight!

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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