DAY 215: PUTTING DOUBT CURBSIDE AND COMING BACK TO STILLNESS!

I had some doozy moments this week; some really unexpected, completely surprising and ultimately really disconcerting stuff. I didn’t initally understand any of it. And quite quickly I began to feel myself slipping into self-doubt, and in characteristic fashion,trying to unravel from the unpleasantness of the experience by overthinking it, ad nauseaum, to death.

Thank God I have enough awareness to realize this overwrought  way of being is not a really fabulous choice or a good place to go. So, I stop, literally, and do nothing. Now I know that this might read as a really pathetic and passive way of behaving, but it is honestly the exact f***ing opposite. Sitting in stillness, with no desire for an outcome, and no visceral need to control the situation actually opens me up, maybe even actually frees me up, to trust that I am right where I am meant to be and I have the freedom to explore all of the possibilities that manifest from the stillness.

The ultimate outcome for my particular challenge is out there somewhere in the universe, awaiting its turn. And I wait as well, in stillness and trust; well supported by some awesome people, still nurturing my gentle sometimes overly-sensitive heart, believing that when the time is right, I will know what to do, and I will understand. And be, in that moment, so sure of my own self that my action, I guess the solution, will unfold and blossom open in such unfathomable and powerful expression, as I experience its awe and wonder.

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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