I had some doozy moments this week; some really unexpected, completely surprising and ultimately really disconcerting stuff. I didn’t initally understand any of it. And quite quickly I began to feel myself slipping into self-doubt, and in characteristic fashion,trying to unravel from the unpleasantness of the experience by overthinking it, ad nauseaum, to death.
Thank God I have enough awareness to realize this overwrought way of being is not a really fabulous choice or a good place to go. So, I stop, literally, and do nothing. Now I know that this might read as a really pathetic and passive way of behaving, but it is honestly the exact f***ing opposite. Sitting in stillness, with no desire for an outcome, and no visceral need to control the situation actually opens me up, maybe even actually frees me up, to trust that I am right where I am meant to be and I have the freedom to explore all of the possibilities that manifest from the stillness.
The ultimate outcome for my particular challenge is out there somewhere in the universe, awaiting its turn. And I wait as well, in stillness and trust; well supported by some awesome people, still nurturing my gentle sometimes overly-sensitive heart, believing that when the time is right, I will know what to do, and I will understand. And be, in that moment, so sure of my own self that my action, I guess the solution, will unfold and blossom open in such unfathomable and powerful expression, as I experience its awe and wonder.