DAY 176: MY ANSWER IS YES!!!

I’ve been kind of weepy today, at the oddest of times, tears just springing from my eyes mid-conversation, chin trembles, really the whole nine yards. I kind of know why but the truth is I’ve been rather reluctant to say it out loud, for fear of jinxing it perhaps, or maybe I’m just afraid if I do verbally declare, I have to take complete ownership of the reality of it. So, I’ve been swiping away, nodding my head, swallowing hard and weeping up a storm, all because my life continues to present me with new and fantastic challenges, unique opportunities to expand and grow, meet my heart and surrender to the process full on and believe!

I don’t think the crying is such a strange response, in fact, as I was told today, from the most unlikeliest of sources, crying is a good thing; it’s just that I have to step bravely forward, meet these new opportunities with a resounding vibrant heart. And I know that I will and I can, I just feel kind of overwhelmed by the great light-filled potential of all of it, today into tonight.

And I can’t quite believe it. I’m not sure I’ve never been here before; if truth be told, I think I have, but I looked at the journey forward sideways, hesitated and missed the boat! I guess I just wasn’t ready. But this time I know that I am, because the desire and the intention is authentic, and right in front of me.  And I’m going to bravely step forward and say yes; and I just know that really enchanted and wonderful things are going to manifest as a result of that yes.

And it scares me; not a paralyzing fear, more like a low-level, grateful for it because I know it’s good for me but I wish I didn’t have to feel it kind of fear. So, I’ve been weeping in response to this feeling. I’m doing it a little bit right now, and I’m O.K. with it. I consider it a little bit like a large exhale in my asana practice; an acknowledgement of the fact that I can release that which no longer serves me so I am able to transform myself into a deeper version of the pose that follows, and the next and the next; staying in the flow and remaining open to all of the unique magical and miraculous opportunities that exist in the universe for me.

Ta Dah, I’ve arrived, tear-stained and all that; all because I said and am going to continue to say, a BIG FAT JUICY YES TO ME.

 

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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