I have my moments, and some of them have been doozies. In the past getting my own way was my preeminent priority; at any cost. It made for a pretty blustery oftentimes difficult life. I spent a lot of time unhappy and wound so tight that I felt and acted as if my head was going to explode right off of my body. I imagine, looking back, that I was a real joy to be around. My kids can certainly tell some stories, and have, and occasionally still do.
I’m not going to declare that all is sunshine and roses now, or that day to day I don’t still have some moments where I really have to work the breath to stay still and remain positive; but I will state earnestly and sincerely that I am a completely changed person in mind body and spirit and by transforming myself I am now in the business of helping others to become unstuck themselves.
Being stuck sucks! And the realization of the nature of that kind of immobility is, believe it or not, a fantastic starting point. I began at the beginning with this awareness and a fervent desire to change that propelled me, painfully at times, forward into dimensions and possibilities that I had never even imagined. And the same is true for many of my clients.
Today, I was able to be a part of two such transformations with two hard-working clients; and I rejoiced openly with both of them: Riette who is rehabbing a leg injury with such spirited defiance and wholehearted energy that I am convinced her yoga business will encompass many aspects of the crazy circuitous journey she has been on the past month. It is incredible to watch someone graciously blossom and emerge from a resistant place to one of freedom and abundant possibility. Her physical strength is impressive, but it is her ferocious heart that continues to gift her and offer up unending transcendence.
Barb P. stood on her head for the first time. And she rocked it! we have been discussing the fear of the unknown for a while and Barb felt that today was the day to banish the hesitancy and push forward toward a pose that represented her new flow. It was beautiful, well supported and held for 10 breaths! She did it twice, marking it within her on a cellular level. There’s no turning back now, I told her with a grin! She’ll meet it on the mat and off, I just know; and more importantly, so does she.
It’s beyond gratifying to be a witness to someone else’s transformation. I’m always overwwhelmed when it happens as it represents for me a trust and co-sponsorship of a sacred moment that, not to be too hokey, sears itself indelibly on my heart. I am forever changed by the experience of it each and every time it happens.
My doozies are so so different now. There will be no going back for me either. And as I move on in my own asana practice toward difficult arm balances and inversions in the middle of the room, I do double back flips inside at the nature of my sweet, loving and expectant heart. I’m a good person from head to toe and core to core; I just feel it. No longer stuck I am out in the world offering my self up; ever-eager, gracious and continuously open to each new and burgeoning awakening.