DAY 145: ON BEING ME, THE FARM, AND A LITTLE MEMORIALIZING….

I have been going to The Farm for more than 20 years. It is my Aunt Belinda and Uncle Penn’s place: 30 acres of horse farm outside of Stockton New Jersey. It’s 10 miles North of the Delaware River near Lambertville. My son Gareth calls it the greatest place on earth. It has been a gathering place for my mother’s side of the family, 5 sisters one brother and all of their kids, for as long as I can remember.

Today I reconnected with my cousin Robin, from Kingman Arizona. I haven’t seen her in 40 years! We reunited over great food and the beauty of The Farm.

I remembered my Dad often today…..He would have preferred to have been there. So much tenderness caught up in memories; tears and laughter wrapped up in a poignant package. I gulp and swipe at the same time while I tell some of my most cherished memories.

My mom is at The Farm right now, staying in the little Carriage House, trying to figure out where to settle next; beautifully convalescing after the death of my Dad, being restored by the awesome peace of the place, complete with peacocks, bullfrogs, baby bluebirds hatching in the homemade boxes.

I never tire of cresting the hill, seeing the horses in the field, a couple of Binn’s grandkids catching baby turtles in the same pond my kids caught their parents or grandparents.

Time passes, life changes and moves, sometimes so fast that before I even have a chance to take a breath, the next frame and the next and the next have whipped by and I feel out of breath, wanting to catch up, rewind, beg the tempo to go to an adagio that I can stroll through…..

The Farm is like a PAUSE, a moment when I can truly exhale, remember, bask in natural beauty; hug and cry shakily with long lost relatives and rejoice in the sheer wonder of memories old and new.

Miss you Bob Bob

Peaceful Memorial Day Everyone!

 

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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