I don’t know about you, but I struggle sometimes with expectations and wanting the people in my life that I care about to behave, well, quite honestly, the way that I want them to behave. I’m laughing out loud as I write this, nevertheless, I have noticed lately that letting people be is a muscle that I am still developing. And the beauty of this kind of growth is that the more I resist, the more abundant the opportunities to progress and change present themselves.
These growth opportunities are, for me, a lot like practicing yoga poses on the mat that I really do not like. It is really the place that I need to begin every single time I approach my practice. The poses I find the most challenging, are also the one’s that I meet with the greatest resistance; the push back causes pain, the pain creates negative thought , the negative thought generates resistance and so on and so on and so on.
What I’ve learned on the mat is to be gentle with myself and relax and breathe into the resistance rather than battling or fighting or muscling my way into it. There will be pain, in any of these poses, but it doesn’t have to hurt me to expand and grow and change. In fact, calmly and gracefully accepting the invitation to enter into a flow that includes resistance allows me to progress with an intention that comes from the heart and is an authentic expression of my desire to transform myself.
And living within a loving spiraly transformation relationally is all there is in life for me on a daily basis. All I can really do is work within the simple equation of accepting people as they are and where they are, and meeting them within my own engaged and loving heart day to day, hour to hour, and with some people, minute to minute. It won’t ever be perfect, and it might be sometimes painful, yet I truly believe, as a result of many many experiences with my own deep deep inflexible resistance, that my own suffering is not only optional, but also extremely limiting as it inhibits my own spirit to connect most genuinely with the spirit of another.
And I really love connection. I really like when my 2 and someone else’s 2 join, in whatever capacity, to make the best four that we can make together. And even though as I wrote that last sentence and kind of cringed at the corniness of it, I’m still going to embrace it because I do not know of any other way to live. And I have learned to really really live in a deep state of appreciation for this well-earned attitude of love and acceptance.
So live this way I will, inspired by my less than perfect but completely earnest inclination towards another; open, awash with purpose, hopefully emerging refreshed, renewed and rejuvenated by the experience. It is it; expectations be damned!