I arrived home tonight, chinese take out bag in hand, feeling pretty good about myself, many lovely client connections successfully completed, to a dark, unable to be lit up apartment. Now, I’m fine in the dark and I think pretty well on my feet, so I was kind of surprised by how initally discombobulated I was. Right off the bat I was pissy and unhappy; desperately searching for a quick solution that didn’t involve candles. I stormed around, talked to neighbors, called JCP&L, and especially egregiously, began that slippery descent into the murkiness of blaming all the people that had ever harmed me!
With the lights back on, (3 hours later), the whole thing seems fairly hilarious, but I’m humbled by how quickly being powerless tilted my axis. I realized, as I lay on the cruise liner munching on microwaved chicken and broccoli, that it was ok to be pissed but ultimately there wasn’t going to be anything I could do about it. Isn’t it great, I thought to still know that I want what I want when I want it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to get it.
So, I’ve got work to do, and a big patient heart and the time to do it. As I told some of my lovely new clients today; it takes practice to make progress, to open up to new possibilities, to expand, become bigger, more open. I’m right there with them. We’ll hold one another up. Next time I’m in the dark, I think I’ll make sure that one of the first things I do is reach out to someone else for a little help and support. Super Susan doesn’t need to do things alone anymore.