DAY 78: BLASTING INTO MY PAST WITH MY PRESENT INTACT

I spent more than two decades of my life as an upper middle class suburban housewife with a heavy dose of funk on the side. And as is fairly typical of any divorce situation, or so I learned after the fact, most people from that life fall away post-divorce. I have to say that, at the time, I was so devastated with other aspects of the whole nutty situation, that I didn’t really pay attention to how many people went away, and it honestly never really bothered me. But if Shelly had evaporated out of my life, my devastation would have peaked somewhere close to 100%, and I would honestly have been lost for a long, long time.

She didn’t, of course, and like the muse she had always been to me, stood by and poked and prodded my wounded psyche from time to time, serving as both inspirer and motivator. So loyal was she that when she would see my ex-husband on the street, she would cross to the other side so that she did not have to be anywhere close.

She finally invited me for yoga tonight, I think wanting to check in and see how I was doing and also wrap her rather substantial brain around this business that I have created, assess its potential, and hear me weigh in on where I felt I was headed.

It was a good night. Shelly, not a yoga practitioner, worked hard, loved Warrior 2 and burrowed into my heart and took up residence in a place  just a little further than she had previously been.  How lovely to have a friend who loves you so much. She made me salmon, cajoled me with biscotti, congratulated me on my yoga and had her husband Sergio pick out and pour a fabulous wine.

I sat at the same kitchen table that I had spent many an afternoon as a married woman but it wasn’t remotely close to any experience in my memory bank; there was nothing to miss and, as always, we never missed a beat. I’m not surprised we really do represent the intrepid, fathomless aspects of Warrior 2 so well; strength, grace and beauty reflected with integrity. The invitation to drop in and open up always there. It was beautiful, graceful, and so so humbling.

“I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to go to Haiti,” she said to me, smiling that sweet smile. I thanked her for the affirmation with a small smile back,  knowing we were beyond ok, completely connected, moving onward, renewed, refreshed, rejuvenated, newly whole.

Thanks Shel, you’re the best!

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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