Frankly, off the bat, I’m not initally feeling it. But as I am focused on this higher level of life and I’m aware that my thinking from the head can sometimes be my own worst enemy, I’m reflecting right through this somewhat onerous obstacle and going for it, way before I’m connected to it.
And this is the way it can be sometimes, I have to search a little bit for a place to start, somewhere that has meaning, that feeling of ephemeral wispiness that wraps around my heart so that I stay connected to all that I value and love. And for God’s sake not overthink it!
If there is anything I have learned through the practice of yoga it is that the balance between effort and ease is very delicate. I used to be a person that believed achieving was everything and effort was all that was required. If I fell short, it was my fault because I didn’t try hard enough, work hard enough, believe hard enough…..and on and on and on and on. You know the drill, fill in your own blank if you feel like it.
I’m pretty sure this way of living came from an inability to coinhere with the love I had within myself for myself as well as a disconnect with how powerfully the loving relationships that surrounded me were there to uphold me through good times aand bad.
Tonight, I can reflect on these past realities in my head without owning them in my heart and feel grateful. I can have a rough tired night and still be able to access the Big Love that exists for me. And I did it quite simply, by slowing down, opening up, breathing deep, literally easing in and meditating on a picture of the sky that I took last night. Pointed towards the heavens, contemplating moonbeams, letting the love lap away at my weary heart; knowing for sure that the now of this moment is all that I have, and wanting to peacefully make the most of it.