So, I began tonight with a fairly easy plan. I was going to upload one of my favorite jazz pieces from the 2011 Detroit Jazz festival, some fairly inspiring stuff, when suddenly I began to crave chocolate. Now I am not a chocoholic by any stretch of the imagination, and normally, I would just push aside this desire, but I’m living Big and I know how to drive, so I set out on a little excursion in my pj’s in pursuit of that which I could not resist.
It was grand to wear my Dad’s old coat to cover the pj’s and set off, a beautiful warmish early spring night in NJ, the half mile to Acme to acquire what I knew would satisfy. These seemingly innocuous pursuits are new for me, a response to an inner voice that gives permission to act upon a fleeting fun need. How great to just do it, without explanation, affirming myself and gaining something sweet.
Life can be exactly like this Susan, I said to myself: Simple, rich, full of promise without hesitation. And I saw in this action a reflection of something bigger, a movement forward, a response to the heart, an uncoiling of the energy within me that is reaching toward a higher purpose, a greater sense of self.
Sometimes, life for me is encapsulated in the innocent gesture; the gentle exhale, a pat on the back from one of my yoga students at the end of class, a simple holding of hands. I reach out towards the Spirit of me that is beckoning me toward the fullest expression of myself. And tonight I found it in tiny tastes of sea salt infused chocolate: Such a Big, deep experience.