DAY 51: THE FABRIC OF ME!

In October of 2010 I was living in Naples Florida helping my mom take care of my dad who was dying. It was not a place or a situation that I had honestly ever imagined I would be in. And although I was grateful to be with my dad during this bittersweet tender time, I was in some pain otherwise, and knew that as much as I didn’t want to deal with it, the offering to gain perspective and take hold of my own truth was there. So, I took it.

I spent a lot of time over the ensuing 8 months laughing and crying with my dad, reminiscing, seeing at the most visceral level who he really was, witnessing him let go and come to accept the inevitability of the end of his life. In so many subtle and gentle ways our journey together, down a road that both of us had never really anticipated traveling, I began to unpack the baggage that I’d stored inside of myself for so long, and arrive at the heart of the value of who I really was. It was such a gift, given to me by my dad and I will never ever forget it.

Here’s what I discovered as valuable for me and about me

  1. I love my kids. Family, however it comprises itself, is it.
  2. I uphold and I am upheld in loving relationships with gentle loving people.
  3. Place matters. I had to bloom again (New Jersey) where I had been originally planted.

All that pain had been honed down and refined into these three basic principles. And it took the experience of my dad’s death to reinforce these profound truths for me. Life is not as complicated as I had chosen to make it: Family, great friends and place was all that I needed to begin again. And I did; unwavering, sometimes weepy, yet completely committed to embracing and endorsing the Big, Bold, Beautiful, Brave woman that I had always imagined myself to be.

BIG LIFE!

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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