I arrived unbroken on this subject. Like some kind of egg that came before the chicken there was never any doubt in my mind that money would not be an issue for me. Not ever! I refused to believe that I might need to wrap my brain around it. As a result of this attitude, throughout my early adulthood until sometime about, oh 5 or 6 months ago, the concept of being on a budget and being well and truly financially responsible for myself was not a topic of conversation I ever invited into my life. Like the egg, I was impenetrable.
I think there are several reasons why I really never wanted to break myself open on this subject; didn’t need to, felt afraid to, and my personal favorite, was really just kind of lazy about it. And although I always had absolutely everything that I needed, I truly believe that my own paralysis on this contentious topic, kept me from living to my fullest potential.
What I’m trying to say I think, and this is such a huge awareness for me, is that on some level not dealing with my own personal financial world held me back from my true abundant self in all aspects of my life! And I lived in a smaller way than I could have from the inside out. Like a really rough diamond or a forced flower or an asana practice without the breath I was just well and truly lacking within myself. And here’s the real kicker, deep down I knew it.
What changed, or how did I crack open?
Well, I started my own yoga business, accessed through the heart, and I began to automatically loosen up and change. On some level there is a little magic that takes place in any kind of shift in attitude towards a positive transformation. I believe it emanates somewhere inside of that glimmering heart-light (think E.T.) that is an authentic reflection of our divine self. And within this outward vibration an energized inclination toward a more fuller expression of that divine energy opens up, and all level of new and interesting relationships begin to alchemically generate and develop.
So suddenly financial responsibility is a part of my portfolio. And I’m soaring, no longer a chicken or an egg, the expansive possibilities for a deep and creative abundance shines out of me. I’m on a budget. I have financial goals. I’m building a unique and transcendent yoga business and it’s building me as well.
And quite frankly, this is really f*cking BIG!