DAY 22: THE DEVIL I KNOW

When I was first introduced to the devil I know, I was awfully disappointed. My mind had conjured up quite a fearsome, overpowering figure, you know the drill, all that fire and brimstone stuff: Big, ugly nasty character whose immense arsenal of weapons caused tremendous pain. The reality was astoundingly different: Tiny sniveling creature, for some reason with a pointy beard, who possessed a really, really small sword, no fire at all. In fact, the devil I met and ultimately defeated turned out to be the exact opposite of the real big, bold and beautiful me.

This revelation was a real epiphany and serves as a catapult moment in my life, out of the depths of adverse constricted living into a vast, bright, wind whipping through my hair, sometimes hilarious and giddy present and future. I mean, after all, just as an example, I learned how to make mead this weekend and partied with a bunch of really quirky environmentalists. It’s pretty miraculous, really.

Truth is though, no matter how often or long I tried to avoid it, I had to meet my devil face to face in order to take into my heart those lies that I had told myself for so long that held me back from being the person that I knew I was meant to be.  In a nutshell, here are the top three lies:

  • I’m not good enough .
  • I’m completely unloveable.
  • I’m one of those people who is just not meant to live the life of her dreams.

Now, surrounding these lies were a bunch of what I felt at the time were really justified righteous support evidence for the lies; negative people, places and things that formed the foundation for the pedestal that my devil sat upon. Frankly, none of it really matters, the truth is, until I owned the lies as lies, that is accepted them as the egregious fallacies that they were, I was never ever going to be able to take the action to rid myself of them. So, I met my devil and ultimately battled him down and out of my life.

It was an excellent, messy, sometimes painful journey that completely transformed me from the inside out. I want to share with you the top tools in my toolbox, some of which I always had and many that I acquired along the way, that uphold, energize and inspire me and have been the practical magic that propelled me forward and that I continue to bring  into my life every single day.

  • Yoga on and off the mat
  • Good Nutrition
  • Meditation
  • Prayer
  • Community
  • Play

Sometimes, the devil that I know reappears in my life, usually when I am hungry, angry, lonely or tired, but the stay is a short one, because I know better now. I no longer believe the lies that I told myself and I know how to take care. I love who I am, how I’m living, who I’m becoming. And that gracious acceptance propels me to a loving action that is infinte and full of beautiful possibilities.

It’s a really BIG thing.

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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