DAY 16: EGO!

I’ve often heard ego defined as easing God out. I have a lot of experience in this area. It’s not that I had any real difficulty having God as a passenger, sometimes front seat, oftentimes, back, it’s really just that I drive. Why, because I like to.

On the actual streets, I fancy myself a pretty fearsome driver. I own a Mini Cooper Clubman that I consider to be a really cool car. It has an S engine that I think stands for sadistically sick. It’s zippy, takes corners really well, and can go from 0-60 in less than 4 seconds. Believe me, I know, I once took a Porsche off the light just to test it.

All this sounds pretty awesome to me, nevertheless, when I have cared to inquire after my passengers, I have often found them clutching the ceiling of the car in vain, white-knuckled and mumbling, longing for the end of the journey, beyond eager to get to their destination. In other words, neither joyful, engaged or  having any kind of fun.

And yet I consider myself to be a fun, engaging, interesting person to hang out with, so where is the disconnect? I believe it’s in my head of course, nestled in there tightly with all of the self-righteous all knowingnness that my conscious mind can muster. In other words, I just have a really hard time letting go of my way of doing things. Trusting the process, going with the flow, being patient, staying in the moment are not spontaneously easeful choices for me to make.

And yet, I have reached a stage in my life where I really want to make them. I lean longlingly and gaze lovingly upon the streetlight that illuminates my heart. And if I wait long enough, breathe deeply, meditate patiently, surrender, phrases I believe and language in my yoga classes every single day, I encounter the glimmerinesss of God. And here’s the real kicker; it’s in the small moments.

Today I engaged in beautiful heartfelt listening moments with my newest Kula the You Can Do Anything Coaching Group. An eclectic group of intrepid travelers who are embarking on a long, unknown brave journey whose destination is not known and whose outcome, it would seem to me,  must be somewhat based upon our collective and respective commitments  to embrace those whispering wispy moments when the God of our understanding takes our hands and gently eases us out of the driver seat.

I feel great comfort within the loving embrace of that revelation. And it is encompassed within the graciousness of my new group of friends.

It is so lovely to be so well supported.

BIG BIG Welcome to: Ruth, Sai, Robin from Columbus, Lillian, Margo, Pam, Kim, Beth, Robin from Boston, Debbie  and of course, Jamie.

I’m getting out of the driver’s seat and this decision is really, really BIG!

About livebig365

Join me as I dive in to the deep end of the pool and challenge myself to live big and love big. What does that mean? In 2012 , I accepted the invitation to push myself beyond my comfort zone, at least once a day, and engaged and responded to my life, or a given situation in my life, in a way that would normally scare the hell out of me. Why did I do it it? Because it was time time to begin, and I was ready! Each day brought a new revelation, lesson, challenge, encounter, a teaching moment, that revealed to me that living big and loving big are uniquely interconnected. Welcome 2013, the year of lovebig 365. Each post was an expression of love experienced, witnessed, inspired, manifested. It didn't always make sense in the moment, and yet its sheer mystery hopefully evoked a beautiful affirmation of life and all of its shimmery brightness; broken up, lovely to behold, tender and full of purpose. 2014, jagged, bumpy, disjointed posts. 2015, silence, and plenty of growth within that silence. Manifesting 2016: The creation of a gathering place for gratitude. Join in the wavering, audacious, unequivocal fun. 2017: Reflection 2018: POWER, MAGIC, TRANSFORMATION
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2 Responses to DAY 16: EGO!

  1. Sai says:

    Your words make sense to me. During the call I started thinking about the disconnect in my life. Great relationship + my insecurities (from past baggage) = trouble. Thanks for opening my mind to the possibility of actually dealing + resolving those imperfections I keep hiding.


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